To our baby in waiting,
There is so much we want to tell you on the day of our meeting. Right now, you are in a Petri dish, in a lab, in an incubator where you have been for the last five days. As scientific and cold as that may sound, it is so far from your truth. While it is certainly scientific, that is just a small portion of your long story up to this point. While you may not have been conceived traditionally (hey, maybe in your teen years, that will give you some comfort), you were one of the most intentionally conceived people in the world. Your father and I, years before you were in existence hoped for you. We prayed and cried and lamented that it was not easy to get to you, but we knew that one day we would meet. We took our heartbreak and we turned it into action. We loved you so much that we would stop at nothing for a chance to make you a reality. We worked hard to figure out the best way to get to you. We interviewed and met with many people to find the perfect one to care for you before we got to. We found those people far from home and now we are all here together preparing to start your life in the best way possible. Right now, you are a few hundred cells and an amazing embryologist is looking out for you, but in a few short hours, it’ll be my turn. And in a few short months, your dad will be back to protect us both. You see, even if the beginning of your story is an unconventional one, it is still a love story.
We love you so much, baby. We are on the precipice of so much hope and potential. There are so many things you could be and, even if we pressure you at some point in your life, know that the only one that is important to us is that you are ours. Your father and I are so excited for you and all that will come with you now and over time. We are lucky in so many ways and one is that we have been able to prepare you for quite a while. Your whole family, not just your dad and me, have been following your story and are as excited for you as we are (maybe just half a degree less than we are). Not only your family cares about you, but a whole community has been touched by your incredible journey and story. People tell me all the time how fervently they have prayed for you and how much they hope that you get to exist with us, too. There are some things I want you to know that I think are important to write down before things get crazy as you grow and grow.
You are loved. When you were just two cells, you were loved by your father and me. You are important and you have made me feel more complete than I knew i could ever feel. You are loved by people you will never even meet. 1000’s of people have read your story and will continue to long after you are born. They love you because you are hope for them, you are the embodiment of success, and your story will help people like your mom for years to come. You are loved, baby.
Your parents aren’t perfect. I promise, we are going to try our very best, just as we did in the beginning, but we aren’t perfect. We will sometimes do the wrong things and we will certainly say the wrong things (neither of us has much of a filter and you may have that same affliction), but we are going to try. We will stay up at night fretting about if glass bottles or plastic bottles are better, we will put our heads together about how best to educate you and we will do our very best to make all of the right choices before you are ready to make ones for yourself. We will fail, sometimes. But know that we love you more than anything in this world and that your parents aren’t perfect, baby.
Your life is important. No matter how long or short it is, we promise to honor every minute of your existence. I don’t have all of the answers and I don’t know if we were meant to meet once you have grown in my womb, but you are as real to me as I am to my parents. I promise to honor every minute that we are given with you and I pray that it is billions of minutes. I hope that I am strong enough to accept God’s plan for you, whatever it is. From the moment your fathers and my cells met and yours divided in two, your life began. And your life is important, baby.
Lastly, you are worth all of it. It was hard work to get you to this point. You were worth every second of it. It was heartbreaking knowing you wouldn’t come easy. You were worth it. It will be difficult to grow you and birth you and raise you and every second will be worth it. There is no more precious a gift your father and I could receive than you, besides each other. We are so grateful. And you are worth all of it, baby.
Very soon, I get to meet you. I will take pictures of you and I will send them to your dad. I will post them here so all of your supporters can see you, too. I am nervous, anxious and scared. Am i ready for you? Are you ready? I hope you love us as much as we already love you, I hope you will forgive us for being the most photographed child ever, I hope you will be proud of us one day for all the choices we made for you so early in your life. I hope one day you will get to read about your love story, the story of you, and will pick it up and write your own ending. I hope all of the hopes for you, baby.
We cannot wait to meet you baby, we have been waiting for years.
❤ Your Mom and Dad
2 thoughts on “Transfer Day”
This may be my favorite blog post so far. We all can’t wait to hear about it! Don’t be anxious or nervous, relax and take this moment in. Your little one’s story is already written, and he/she will have the best parents in the world. Good luck today momma. You got this.
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That’s the most heartfelt thing I’ve ever read. We are so proud of you and love you and Tim. Our Katiebell has grown up.
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